Shakira faces serious jail time for tax evasion


It hasn’t been a good few months for Shakira. First, she had to endure the betrayal and breakup of her partner and child’s father, FC Barcelona’s Gerard Pique. On the bright side, Shakira didn’t stay there, longing for him, drowning in pictures, notebooks, and memorabilia she couldn’t fathom, as the whole of Latin America raged in defense of our queen. She’s blazing on the Cannes red carpet and following Henry Cavill, Sam Heughan, Jason Momoa, and Chris Evans on Instagram (and they’re back!), making it clear that she’s ready to move on (after the breakup, She only focuses on other singers and philanthropy, without any dialectics of thirst), moving on from Spanish bastards encouraged by the whole continent, yes I call Catalan Pique Spaniard as part of his punishment .dust

But just as she starts making Pique the dust he once was, and the dust he is now (like iron, which softens once heated), she finds herself mired in legal and international quagmire. Almost a lifetime ago, in 2017, she was revealed as one of every rich and famous person who managed to evade taxes with the help of bastards from offshore paradises and wealth management firms, in Shakira’s case, she got up to 30 Revenue in dollars is in million euros. She was charged back in 2018, but due to the legal consequences for moving the rich at the speed of molasses, a Spanish prosecutor announced last week that he had charged her with tax fraud, demanding up to eight years in prison and 23 million euros in jail. fine. Shakira’s representatives challenged the allegations, claiming that she had settled her outstanding tax debt and that she was not actually living in Spain while the tax evasion occurred, even though…well, she was the hardest hit in Spain One of the women. Her residence in Barcelona is well documented, although she travelled in time to the Bahamas, where she claims to live. There’s also the fact that she decided to settle the matter in court, not through a deal.

Since this indictment came to light, we as South Americans have dropped any pretense of moral conformity and stood by her shouting one word to the Spanish government: reparations, fuck! Well, it’s two words, but the content is just one word, MOTHERFUCKAS is hypertext. Considering that Shakira is not just the reigning queen of Latin music, she is also the embodiment of the deep cultural bond between Latin American and Arab cultures.This is not only because she is the most important representative of the tens of millions of Arab descendants in Latin America (usually Lebanese, Syrian or Palestinian who arrived in the late 19th to early 20th centuries), but also because she is a deep representation of the Spanish part of our Arab heritage, actually has flourished here, from the way we look at it to the fact that reggaeton uses Canterondo. Considering what the Arab people had to endure after regaining lost territory and how Castilian rule and Franco over the centuries tried to cover up that legacy, in effect making Spain a Spanish heritage, including the language itself …why, Shakira did a good job of all her ancestors. Leave the Queen of the Spaniards to eat dust.

But then we realized… does that mean she’ll be paying taxes in Colombia? It’s been a lot of fun to see Latin Twitter get a Spanish pee from one of the biggest stars in the world (and certainly the biggest in the Southern Hemisphere). But when it comes to taxes…I feel like we’ve run out of arguments and methods. Because while our love for her won’t listen to advice or reasons, we can’t continue to feed on those excuses. We need to pull up our pants! We all know that the biggest problem in the world right now is not only that the richest people are not paying their fair share, but that they are evading their responsibilities on the few taxes they actually pay.

If Shakira wants to live in Spain instead of Colombia, who can blame her? There are thousands of reasons someone wants to live in Barcelona or Madrid, most of which are paid for in Colombian silver and gold. Colombia is great, but… as you probably know the status quo, everything is always the worst, and even if we can at least breathe now, Shakira might be too much trouble living there. Spain, despite being Spain, still offers the security of a first world country, but if you want to bite that apple, you have to give up heaven, you can’t blame snakes or anything, because that’s what you want. It’s hard to get developed countries, especially Spain, to get their fair share of taxes from those who should pay, but I think taxes are like the real mother of Solomon’s babies: if Colombia isn’t going to get them, then at least give them to you The host country, no, privatized Caribbean islands don’t count.

Except for the taxes it’s not like a Solomon baby at all. If a baby is split in half, then… I guess it’s inconvenient. But for multinationals like Shakira, taxes can be redistributed in a fair way, and tax evasion by wealthy Latinos is at the heart of our nation’s perpetually low-trust society. The recent upheaval in my home country and in Colombia, where Shakira is, proves one thing is, no, one can’t stand so much poison, anger is heavier than concrete. So Shakira, if you really want to be our eternal, unquestioned, unquestioned queen… how about doing something that most Colombians (and Spaniards) in your tax bracket won’t do? You don’t need to believe Charlie Marx to do this. Paying huge taxes isn’t easy, especially in Latin American countries, and sometimes it feels like most of it goes to waste, but it’s that thought that makes Shakira wonder where the thieves are taking our money. If our neighbor is a thief, maybe she has forgotten that she has been acting like a thief herself. We can’t keep her the only exception. Now that I’ve broken the reference to Shakira’s lyrics with a song from “Paramore,” let me make one thing very clear:

Warn Spain that Shakira needs to be repaid, but if she spends a minute in jail, we’ll have Operation Overlord against you. You can’t steal her just because she steals you.

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Header image credit: Getty Images


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